Things I’ve Learned
I’m no expert on anything other than my art and a few other hobbies. I am not a sociologist, I haven’t a degree in anything, and I don’t claim any great wisdom or elevated state of being. I started this project to help me learn something about myself, my relationships and this society, and I am still ever in the process of learning, often through mistakes. To prove to myself that I’m learning, the list of things I have grasped from this project are below. It is never definitive.
——
There are a lot of misogynists out there.
There is no bottom of the abyss of hatred spewed from a misogynist. They will always shock you with new, more offensive ways to hate on you.
I make too many assumptions, often and especially that people will understand my point of view without context.
Rich people hate me a lot more than I thought.
There are many privileged “liberal” people who think of working-class folks as quaint, unintelligent or somewhat scary. Many of them honestly think that not working for the industrial-capitalist complex is some kind of free choice that working-class people can make between soy lattes and campus protests once they’ve gone to college using magical money that comes from… wherever.. and then we’d realize how bad being working-class is for everyone.
I have some weight-bias in my lense of life against people who are overweight. I still have trouble with this. Intellectually, I know that fat does not equate to anything social, but my social conditioning and thin-privilege often keeps me from seeing it.
I have trouble controlling my rage against the patriarchy, and sometimes my anger damages my brain enough that I say things that are hostile toward other women.
In an attempt to protect my own ego, which has been kicked around a lot, I tend to defend my Nigel’s sexism when I should call him on it. This is still hard for me.
I have a lot of privileges that I never thought about, for instance: looking pale enough to be mistaken for Caucasian, even though I’m not. This has precluded me from experiencing racism directly, and my shared heritage and vicarious experiences through my less-pale family members does not give me any real perspective on that.
Women have had more to teach me about myself and my position in the patriarchy than any other single source in my life. I used to be one of those women who claimed not to like women.
I’m lucky to have the time and position in life to write about all this stuff. There are many more women who are too busy taking care of Dans to have the opportunity to explore themselves the way I have.
