Nigel fails his privilege resistance test…
I love my Nigel. He tries. I know that we aren’t supposed to give cookies for effort, because then they won’t make effort without cookies, but I do anyway. Well, not cookies. I give him encouraging words. The problem is that I also occasionally make cookies and other foods out of love for the culinary arts, and this has become an ongoing point of contention between us, viz. his privileged sense of entitlement to be fed rather than learning to cook vs. my actual enjoyment of cooking, which is only about 2/3rds of the time. We have a budget that makes it impossible to live off of eating out and convenience food. Therefor, the task falls to me to feed everyone even when I don’t feel like cooking (or eating for that matter) myself. It’s hard enough to keep this issue from damaging our household calm, but when Dan was unexpectedly invoked into the inner sanctum of my kitchen, I almost lost my mind.
Dan: I asked my wife why she can’t be more like yours.
Nigel: *goes very quiet and gets a serious face* Oh?
Dan: Yeah, I told her that your wife cooks you lunch all the time and her food looks good, unlike that bitch’s. I told her that if she doesn’t start cooking for me, I’m just gonna get you to tell your wife to cook for me, instead.
Nigel: … My wife cooks when she wants for the people she wants, and she won’t be cooking for you. I might could get her to cook for Ryan or Daniel, but I doubt you.
Dan: … No, man… I mean, I was just telling my wife that, so she’ll cook. You know?
Nigel: Well, don’t.
——
GRRRRRRRRRR! GRRR @ YOU NIGEL! You don’t start talking about who I’ll cook for and blah blah blah like I’m some resource! And don’t lie like that! You know I don’t cook just when I want to; I cook because your privilege kept you from having to learn how, and so we have no choice but for me to cook all the time whether I want to or not! You tell him that he shouldn’t be using me against his wife like that, because he isn’t anymore entitled to be fed than you are! FAIL! NO COOKIE FOR NIGEL!
Seriously. I’m not making you any more cookies for awhile. Whining isn’t going to make me change my mind.
April 25, 2008 at 1:10 am
Oh, snap.
No cookies for Nigel!
April 25, 2008 at 9:35 pm
What do you suppose is preventing the nigel from learning how to cook, besides his male privilege that is?
It isn’t as though there isn’t a demo going on in the kitchen on a daily basis. Is there something wron with his observation skillz? I ask because by the time the sons were twelve they could prepare simple meals for themselves and/or the family as a result of observing, assisting, and questioning kitchen hijinks.
I think that this conversation between the nigel and the Dan may be a sign of power posturing amongst the menz. Influence never goes in only one direction.
April 25, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Gah, typo on wrong, sorry.
April 26, 2008 at 1:12 am
Yeah, that has definitely occurred to me as well, but whenever I’ve brought this up, somehow the logic in the conversation evaporates. I’m told that I’m not expected to cook, I don’t have to, but then I know that if I don’t, it isn’t as if Nigel is going to do more than make peanut butter and honey, and leave my son and I to fend for ourselves. He won’t make a really rewarding dinner.
In part this is due to time constraints and other complexities, but there is also just an unwillingness to learn, or use what skills he has.