Wives: Can’t live with ‘em, but you can always shoot them…

Dan got on the subject of his gun collection.

Dan: I’m not a redneck, but I do like my guns.

Nigel: Do you have many?

Dan: Oh yeah. I got some nice ones, too. I mostly keep ‘em for hunting, and in case my wife needs to be shot.

Nigel: *blank, stunned stare*

Dan: I have to keep ‘em locked up so she doesn’t touch ‘em. I told her not to touch ‘em, but the stupid bitch kept tryin’ to play with them.

Nigel: … My wife keeps a shotgun by her desk. (And I surely do. With incendiary rounds.)

Dan: Wow, man. You’re brave. I bought my wife a little two-bit shooter so she’d have something to play with, but I’d never give her a real gun.

Nigel: … *flabbergasted*…

——

I was disappointed with Nigel for not reaming Dan out for casually mentioning the murder of his wife, but I can understand the lack of social response to something like that. I’m pretty sure I would have stood there gaping, as well, unless I had my gun on me…

This makes me want to walk into the shop with my .38 special and have a chat with him about girls and guns.